I haven't blogged much recently because when I haven't been busy I've been sick, and when I haven't been sick I've been busy. Right now I'm sick and I'm frankly sick of it!
I've been having recurrent infections for the last year or so and I've had enough antibiotics to start my own pharmacy. Some of those infections triggered Post Streptococcal Reactive Arthritis which causes the 3rd worst pain I have ever been in (after tooth nerve pain and childbirth). I've got myself into a boom and bust cycle again, I get sick and then I try to catch up but that just makes me sick again.
I recently had a throat infection but the antibiotics didn't really help so I went back to the doctors to ask some advice. Unfortunately the doctor I saw had made his mind up about me before I had even walked through the door.
He agreed my throat looked sore and I explained that during the past 12 months I'd had many infections and asked if there was anything I could do about it. He sat back in his chair ans said "well, you've already got a diagnosis of a chronic condition and you have suffered trauma (stillbirth 2 years ago) which can last for years if not dealt with."
I asked him what I could do to help myself and he said "Eat a healthy diet, avoid stimulants, get exercise and find a purpose in life". I was rather taken aback by this. I told him I already try to eat a healthy diet of fresh homecooked food, I drink red bush (caffeine free) tea, I already have a purpose in life with my 3 wonderful children and my hobby shop Flowerpot Tots (it doesn't make any money but it's good occupational therapy for me as it boosts my self esteem and makes me feel useful), and as for exercise, every time I increase my physical activity I get another infection!!!
He didn't have an answer to that, he said he was just a general doctor but he did keep repeating that chronic fatigue patients have the best outcomes when they stay away from doctors, especially specialists!!!
So I'm ill but I shouldn't go to the doctors because that will make me sicker? I haven't seen a doctor about my ME/CFS for at least 15 years and I'm still sick so go figure!
I was rather upset when I got home, now I'm just plain angry. I don't want to be ill, I want some help to make the most of what help I've got and unless I pay for private specialists or alternative therapies no-one wants to know!
I am seeing a rheumatologist in a couple of week about my reactive arthritis. He did some tests and I'm hopeing the results will shine some light on my current state of health. I'm scared that they will show again that nothing is wrong because that will put me back to square one and set me off doubting my own mental health. It's silly because who would chose to be this disabled and in this much pain for 20 years? I want to have a life, I'm doing my best to have a life but something keeps kicking me to the floor and I want to bloody well kick it back again.
I normally conceed and try and live quietly under it's shadow but it won't leave me alone at the moment, throwing one infection at me after another and it's all getting a bit too much.
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1 comments:
I also agree that tooth pain is way worse than childbirth. At least, you know that childbirth will end at some point.
I have an immflamatory type of arthritis and the pain is sporadic, unpredictable, and terrible.
Do you take vitamins? You might be zinc or B12 deficient, and most people are D deficient. All these affect the immune system. Thyroid function can also go haywire with reactive arthritis and cause a lowered immune system.
Hope you find some relief!
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